oh_messmaker

Reading all of my old posts makes me want to just delete my whole 'livejournal' account.
makes me very self-conscious/critical of the way I write, what I write about, etc. A very negative, insecure way of thinking, I know, but i feel that way. And truthfully, I've been feeling very much that way, in general life terms, lately. Been feeling very inadequate. incompetent. insecure. I don't even know why, really. It's weird.
I'm just going through this funk; it seems like an ever-constant transitional period. I don't if that can be made sense out of by anyone but me, but that's how I think to describe it.
And all the while, I have so much to look forward to.
I'll be touring with an extremely successful band. for the whole year. and getting paid to do it. wow.
poor me. life is hard, idnit?
idunno.
anyway, i'm sure it'll get better...the semi-depression thing. i mean, i don't really call it that at all, it just sort of sounds like that when i read back. but, i'll be fine soon, i think. or, eventually, i'll explode.

bye

My precious nephew, Elijah, was born. It's such an unbelieveable and extraordinary thing to be a part of something like this... I can hardly describe how great it is. AMAZING, to start.
I am SOMEthing to this little life. I'm going to get to be there and watch him grow and influence his life. And LOOOOVVVEE Him. LOVEE him. AHHHH ..it's CRAZY. I'm so excited!

He weighs 9lbs, 11 ounces. (WHAT!?!)
and....I forgot exactly how tall he is but believe me, he's ridiculous(CUTE).